Willy Wonka and the Caramel Chocolate Turtle
by The Ashen Leaf
Summary: A oneshot about Willy Wonka wondering if he can do anything to make his chocolate better. It all goes well, until Charlie Buckett catches him! Warning: Crude humor and a few sexual references used, rated T for a reason. Is extremely silly and if anyone gets past this summary I'll be very lucky. Enjoy!


**A/N. So... Please don't ask where this idea came from, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing while I was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I tried to ignore it, but IT JUST WOULDN'T GO AWAY. Anyway... I hope you enjoy this crude little one shot. Please leave a review :)**

Mr. Wonka was putzing around in his "everything is edible" room. He was looking at the chocolate water fall, and was wondering if there could be any possible way he could speed up it's churning, and even possibly make it better. He stood there, on the bank, watching the transport tube slurp up gallons and gallons of his brilliant chocolate, and then fly away.

He looked around, and noticed two of his chocolate bunnies bouncing around in the grass near the Buckett hosue. He smiled a little as he watched them play...

Until they started making more choclate bunnies...

Mr. Wonka's eyes widened and he quickly turned back around, his rubber gloves squeaking as he grasped his cane just a little tighter. He looked back down into the chocolate, when his eyes widened at an idea.

Chocolate caramel turtles!

Wonka's face lit up and a giggle of excitement escaped his throat as he quickly went to find the elevator and enter the invention room.

Sure, there already were chocolate caramel turtles, but they were tiny, like the chocolate birds that he used to sell in his small, street side shop. So, what should he do?

Simply blow them up, and make them full size turtles!

Wonka could hardly contain his excitement as he bounced up and down a little on his knees as the elevator neared the intended room. It stopped, dinged, and the door opened. Wonka stepped out, and in excitement, nearly tripped, but caught himself on the cane and continued into the room.

It buzzed and whirred and whistled as his candy made itself. A comforting sound, usually, but right now, he paid no attention to it as he went over to a small tank in the corner. Inside of the tank, was nothing but warm chocolate and caramel swirled together. He removed one glove, and his jacket, and dunked his hand in up to his elbow. When he pulled out; a little turtle was on his hand, about the size of a quarter, stuck on it's back. It's little legs moved and squirmed, it's head popping in and out of the shell, each time getting a little caramel on the top of it's head.

"Perfect!" Wonka exclaimed. One Oompa Loompa was looking up at him, completely confused as he looked at the little chocolate creature with nothing but pure glee. Without as much as noticing the Oompa Loompa, Wonka takes the little chocolate turtle to another part of the invention room, to tank, but this one was clear, and looked something like a child incubator in a hospital, but had two phaser looking gadgets on each end. Carefully, Wonka put the little turtle on a tray and slid it into the tank, closing the little slot that allowed the tray to be slid in.

On a knob, he turned it to an option that said "grow".

"Set phasers to 'grow'," Wonka mumbled with a giggle.

Finally, he pressed a big, red button that clearly said "Do Not Touch!" and a flash then followed from the phasers. What then resulted was a quickly growing chocolate caramel turtle. Quickly, before it got too big, he pulled it from the tank, picked up his cane, jacket and glove, and ran from the room and back to the glass elevator.

Of course... He ran into it and fell down.

The ever growing turtle was now on top of him, on it's back, struggling and kicking as it's stuck. It got heavier, and heavier, and then it stopped growing, about the size of a normal sea turtle.

Wonka sighed in relief as the weight finally stopped rising and he carefully pushed it off, careful to not break the shell and let the caramel all ooze out. He then pulled it into the elevator, and pressed the "everything edible" button. The elevator easily lifted off the floor, and shot up the tunnel of chocolate that went back to that room.

The elevator landed on the grass, and this time, he didn't run into the glass, but instead herded the turtle out and lead it toward the chocolate river. A very easy job, as it was a _chocolate _creature. Wonka giggled at the little thought as the turtle got closer and closer to the bank.

Suddenly, he saw a long licorice rope, and his eyes widened with an idea. Quickly, he threw his cane, jacket, and now both gloves down and grabbed the licorice rope, and tied it around the creatures neck, threw his legs over the shell, and fell into the choclate...

...On the turtle.

The turtle swam around and around in the chocolate, Wonka was on it's back, holding onto the makeshift licorice reigns. His hat was still on, of course, even when the turtle dipped completely under the chocolate, taking Wonka with him. Whenever they came back up, Wonka was completely clean, giggling with glee as he went around and around.

"Churn, damn you! Churn!" he yelled with joy.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Wonka noticed Charlie standing on the grass near the chocolate. He pulled on the licorice, causing the turtle to stop swimming.

"Willy... What are you doing?" he asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

Without answering, he loosened his grip on the licorice, and the turtle dove down, taking Wonka with him, submerging him completely, bubbles only left in his place.


End file.
